She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
