I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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