office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
