this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
