using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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