By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
