Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
