I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
