Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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