I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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