I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
