it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
