I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
