I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
