So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
