Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
