So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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