so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
