windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
