Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
