return my video game
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
