did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
