We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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