I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
My Sexting was not on an AP level
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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