fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
