Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Randomize
