i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
