rhymes with "ouble enetration"
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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