see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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