You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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