dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
