You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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