Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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