i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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