I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
