At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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