he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I need mimosas to revive my soul
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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