he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Randomize
