i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
