You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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