What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
