eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
