Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
