The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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