Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
time to smoke my breakfast
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
