i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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