don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
