It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
