No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
being pregnant is like rehab
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
