I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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