shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
