we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
